10 common mistakes in marriages

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10 Common Marriage Mistakes (From 40 Years of Experience)

Marriage is beautiful, but it’s also challenging. After 40 years of being married, I’ve seen many couples (including myself and my husband) make mistakes that could have been avoided.

 Here are 10 common marriage mistakes and how to 

fix them before they break your relationship.

1. Taking Each Other for Granted

In the early years, couples put in effort to make each other feel special. But as time passes, some stop saying thank you, I love you, or even noticing the little things.

✅ Fix it: 

Appreciate your spouse daily

—no matter how small their efforts are.

2. Lack of Communication

Silence can be deadly in marriage. Some couples stop sharing their thoughts, feelings, and dreams, leading to emotional distance.

✅ Fix it: 

Have daily “check-in” conversations,

 even if it’s just 10 minutes before bed.

3. Ignoring Each Other’s Love Language

Love is expressed in different ways—some feel loved through words, others through actions. A mismatch in love languages can cause unnecessary frustration.

✅ Fix it: 

Learn your spouse’s

  love language and

 show love in the way 

they understand best.

4. Comparing Your Marriage to Others

Social media makes it easy to compare your spouse to others, but every marriage is unique. Looking at others’ “perfect” marriages can create unnecessary dissatisfaction.

✅ Fix it: 

Focus on

building your own happiness, 

not copying others.

5. Neglecting Intimacy

Physical and emotional intimacy is the glue of marriage. Over time, some couples become more like roommates than lovers.

✅ Fix it:

Keep the romance alive

—date nights,

 compliments, and 

affection matters at every stage.

6. Financial Secrets and Mismanagement

Money is one of the biggest causes of arguments and divorce. Keeping financial secrets or overspending can break trust.

✅ Fix it: 

Be open about finances and 

plan together

—money decisions should be a team effort.

7. Holding Grudges Instead of Forgiving

No one is perfect. But holding onto past mistakes can slowly destroy love.

✅ Fix it: 

Forgive quickly and

  focus on solutions,

 not problems.

8. Prioritizing Work or Kids Over Marriage

Some people put work, children, or personal goals before their marriage, forgetting that a strong relationship is the foundation of a happy home.

✅ Fix it: 

Balance is key—

make time for your spouse, 

no matter how busy life gets.

9. Not Setting Boundaries with Friends & Family

Allowing friends or family members to interfere too much in your marriage can create serious problems.

✅ Fix it: 

Set clear boundaries

—your marriage should 

always come first.

10. Thinking Divorce is the Only Solution

Every couple faces challenges. Some people give up too soon instead of working through their problems.

✅ Fix it: 

Instead of seeing divorce as an easy way out,

work on solutions together

—through communication, 

counseling, and prayer.

Final Thought

Marriage isn’t perfect, but avoiding these common mistakes can make it happier and more fulfilling. A strong marriage is built on 

love, 

patience, 

effort, and

 commitment.

💬 Which of these mistakes do you think is the most common? Share your thoughts in the comments!


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